I was speaking to a client recently on a coaching call about 3 words I said he should master in order to be confident and produce outstanding results in his business.
The words were Courage, Commitment and Communication, or the 3 Cs as I said.
And he was away on his life and business trying to integrate my coaching into his life to be confident and produce amazing results in his business and personal life.
He said, those words seem to me to be just words, they don’t mean anything but my anxiety and how I feel about my business and life is ingrained in me.
I said, well, yes, they are words but so are anxiety and lack of confidence, they too are words. But how come for you they are real words and the words of courage, commitment and communication are just phony words? He couldn’t answer but I explained so he could understand just how vital they are to living life powerfully.
To beat any issue successfully requires courage. Courage to act against the obstacle and courage to be consistent in spite of results or the situation. Summoning the courage required to overcome your issues and circumstantial obstacles and following through with you promises and actions.
So, if your issue is anxiety, and it stops you from talking to people, then you summon courage to confront the anxiety and make a promise to act. You relate to your promise as who you are instead of relating to anxiety as who you are. And act as your promised.
Be courageous to be your word and keep your word by taking action, for example actioning your session promises.
Allow me, as your coach, to push you to overcome your issues. Allow me to push you to take action in time.
The main reason for lacking courage is how you handle failures and upsets and how much you listen to your issue based inner voice.
When you attempt something to overcome any issue and you fail. You listen to your unhelpful inner voice and get upset and give up. You start talking to yourself negatively and come to conclusions about you and how you are not able to overcome this issue. Then you give up and the issue comes back. So, courage is – not listening to that negative inner voice and instead listening to your higher voice. In Zen Buddhism, it’s called your Shen (Spirit), you have a higher self within you which yearns to be free and pursue what you dream of. We can call it your spirit.
To keep your courage, you also need to commit. Align with your Spirit and commit fully without knowing everything. Commit fully in spite of failing or things not working out your way.
People are never committed in life, instead they are waiting for the right time, right circumstances, the evidence, that it won’t cost too much money or times etc. But without commitment fully, nothing will work.
When it comes to overcoming your issues such as anxiety, social anxiety, depression or anything else, you are more committed to your issue rather than being free.
You are also committed to your circumstances whatever they may be than your results or your word. You have no courage to commit.
You are waiting for something to happen or someone to say something which will cure you of your issue. You came to this session hoping I would give you the courage or some solution to your problem so you are not anxious anymore. Then you will act or do all those things you dream of. Like in the Wizard of Os, the lion was waiting for a heart so he could get courage. It didn’t happen in the story and unfortunately this will never happen to you either. You are the one to bring courage into being in your life.
I have helped many people to overcome anxiety, social anxiety and depression permanently through my coaching over the last 8 years, and I have also failed on a few occasions. And every time the reason for failure is lack of commitment for their part and also lack of trust. The coaching to work there must be trust between coach and coachee.
The coachee need to trust him/herself! It’s the lack of trust in yourself that leads to lack of trust in others. And that lack of trust in yourself leads to lack of courage and lack of courage leads to lack of commitment. And all that comes from your negative self-talk. Learn to stop listening to that negative self-talk, instead listen to your higher self. Listen to your passion and dreams.
You need to commit to being free of your issue 100%, be passionate and courageous about it, align with your higher self and then take action to experience the freedom in spite of failures and obstacles consistently and over time. It cannot be done on one day or a session or two sessions. But every moment you can take a step forward! And live it as an action.
When you produce a result in the face of difficulty, then you will experience what it is to be free. Once you do that you will not forget it. And if you keep practicing long enough it will become a habit.
You need to create commitment, courage, positive communication and action as habits. They say, it takes a minimum of 21 repetitions to make something a habit. So, to overcome your issues and being free as a habit it will take you 21 sessions exactly. Which is why we do these sessions over 6 months.
Communication is not just talking, its communication that is going on inside of your head.
As we said earlier your self-talk is often very negative and you put a positive spin on it like a corrupt politician to hide it but it keeps happen again and again. With your mistakes, errors, bad judgments, failures etc, it gets worse and you give up and look for outside influences to help you.
Well no one can do that. It is truly all up to you. We can help, but we can’t do it for you or to you. You need to do it for yourself or to yourself by yourself. Not being a slave to your negative self-talk and being free to be in life, leading life, even from the depths of overwhelm and uncertainty, this way of living itself is a communication in action. This is where you need your courage to tell yourself to rise up and take on your life instead of hiding or running away from your issue/s.
That communication is very inspiring to the people around you and when you see the results you will be inspired by it too.